Tips for the first date and beyond. Red flags, hookups, communication, sabotaging behavior, and more...
My clients frequently ask me, “What are the rules of dating?” Well, I’m not a fan of dating rules because they tend to make you seem phony and when broken can damage your self-esteem. Instead, I teach my clients how to maintain healthy boundaries, express themselves properly, take care of …
Being single can be frustrating for many reasons. The annoyance of having to put up with everyone else’s opinion about your love life makes singledom even worse. This nosey concern is typically followed by well-meaning tips to help you find “your person.” However, being in a relationship doesn’t make you qualified to …
Have you been told to stop yelling when you didn’t feel like you were yelling? You may have even replied, “I’m not yelling, trust me, you’ll know when I am yelling.” However, what you need to hear is that you don’t have to raise your voice to be yelling — …
A lot of single people search for someone who’s “never been married”. I certainly do understand the romantic notion that you could be each other’s first marriage. However, as you get older it’s harder and harder to find people who have never taken vows; and you undoubtedly find many people …
Many highly successful people have tremendous confidence but low self-esteem. Confidence is different than self esteem. Do you know the difference? Self-esteem and self-confidence frequently get mistaken for one another, but they are two separate things. Self-confidence is your belief in your ability to do something, such as managing a business, speaking …
Being negligent or insensitive with a lover’s feelings or worse intentionally hurting them is mean, and can cause you a lot of unnecessary grief. Being on the receiving end of uncaring actions is typically what leads a jilted lover to obsessive and even stalking behaviors. So protect yourself from future …
You frequently hear that opposites attract but then also hear that like attracts like. So which is it? Do opposites attract or is commonality better? If you’re a follower of my blog then you know that I believe commonality is crucial to making a relationship last long-term. You need to …
There is no guarantee to see each other again if you have sex on the first date. Are you ok with a one night stand? If it’s going really well and you decide to have sex that first night, be really clear that you may be choosing a one night …
If you’re feeling like you’re dating out of your league or in any way not good enough for the person you’re dating then he or she will ultimately decide that too. Because you are what you think you are. Your behavior, actions, and insecurities are all created by your thoughts, and they become …
Being an open book is a sign of unhealthy boundaries. If you reveal deeply personal info about your past too soon you’re waving bright red flags to the person you’re trying to endear to you. Be smart about when and how you reveal your past hardships. There is a time and place for everything. The …
“Why are you still single?” is a commonly asked question that is essentially a backward compliment. It implies “Wow, you’re great, why doesn’t anybody want you?” The most common responses are: “I just haven’t met anyone I have chemistry with.” “The one I wanted got away.” “All the good ones …
Do you get nervous on dates? Be careful, you may be sending the wrong message to your date — that you’re not interested. The most common reason people get nervous is because they want their date to like them. Unfortunately, that is usually what causes the date to fail. If you …
If you know what red flags to look for in the beginning of a relationship then you can make a better decision about who is a keeper and who is just fun for right now. When you observe red flag behavior don’t ignore it. I promise you it will get worse if …
The question, “Why are you still single?” is highly inappropriate because it implies, “What’s wrong with you?” But try not to take offense to it and please don’t defend yourself. Simply respond with an empowered answer. You absolutely do not need to explain the details of why you haven’t gotten married yet. Bottom …
Being late tells the person you’re making wait for you that you don’t care about his or her feelings, and that you don’t respect their time. It lowers their opinion of you. When you’re late for a date, especially if it’s a first date, you risk making your date angry, and you’re certainly …
