Pay Attention to Clues of Bad Behavior (Red Flags)

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After a breakup I always ask my clients if they know what went wrong. Just about all of them can point to at least one thing that happened that foreshadowed their breakup, they just didn’t pay attention to it at the time. You can save yourself a lot of heartache and also time if …

The First 3 to 6 Months of a Relationship

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The first six months of a relationship are the honeymoon phase. However, most relationships never last past three to six months. You have to protect your heart so you don’t get blindsided. Many people are desperately looking for “the one”.  They hopefully go on date after date, trying not to …

“I’ve Never Felt This Way Before” Can Be a Huge Red Flag

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Love is hard to find, so when you hear, “I’ve never felt this way before” you may think you’ve finally found “the one”. But have you? Be careful — it may mean you’re heading for disappointing heartbreak. If you’ve dated a lot but have never truly fallen in love before you have …

Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable

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I know that it can be incredibly scary to feel vulnerable. However, if you want a long-lasting relationship you need to be able to express your inner thoughts and feelings to your partner, and be able to listen to his/her wants and needs. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” If the worst …

Are You The Rebound?

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You always hear that you’re not supposed to talk about past relationships when you first start dating someone new. However, the one exception to that rule is to find out whether he/she is truly available for a new relationship or if you’re just the rebound. Ask permission to ask by saying, “Can I ask …

Insecurity Is All In Your Head

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Everyone is insecure on some level. We can feel unwanted, unloved, unappreciated, inadequate, undeserving, neglected, and so on. Fear is mostly to blame. We fear abandonment, betrayal, intimacy, commitment, etc.  But all of our fears and insecurities are created by our thoughts. Which makes it all in our heads. Our thoughts …

Don’t Get Married Younger Than 25

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Falling in love is exciting. When you think you’ve found “the one” its fun to fantasize about walking down the aisle together. Nonetheless, if you haven’t celebrated your twenty-fifth birthday yet you should not actually plan the wedding — or worse, go through with getting married. Recent research has found that the Brain’s …

5 Examples of Inappropriate Boundaries

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Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t give you permission to be part of everything in their life. Time apart from each other is actually necessary to keep you both happy, and snooping is never helpful. So how appropriate are your boundaries? Part of having healthy boundaries is accepting your partner’s boundaries …

10 Texting Rules to Help Your Relationship

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I’m not a fan of rules for relationships but texting is one of the worst ways to communicate with a lover. It’s lazy and vague. The true meaning is left up to the reader’s interpretation. As a relationship coach, I have spent far too much time trying to calm down a …

Don’t Reject When Feeling Rejected

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It’s a defense mechanism to reject someone you feel rejected by. But if you’re feeling rejected by the person you’re in a relationship with you need to resist that instinct and communicate how you’re feeling. You need to find out what you don’t know. We tend to take everything personally when …

First Date or One Night Stand?

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There is no guarantee to see each other again if you have sex on the first date. So if it’s going really well and you decide to have sex that first night, be really clear that you may be choosing a one night stand. If that’s not ok with you, …

When & How to Reveal Your Past Hardships

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Being an open book is a sign of unhealthy boundaries. If you reveal deeply personal info about your past too soon you’re waving bright red flags to the person you’re trying to endear to you. There is a time and place for everything. The first few months of dating is supposed to be about having …

Red Flags You Need to Heed

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If you know what red flags to look for in the beginning of a relationship then you can make a better decision about who is a keeper and who is just fun for right now. When you observe red flag behavior don’t ignore it. I promise you it will get worse if …

Are You in Love or Infatuated?

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Love at first sight is a very romantic notion and can feel absolutely real when you meet someone amazing and feel intensely attracted to each other. But the saying should be connected at first sight because true love doesn’t begin until that “I can’t get enough of you” euphoria starts to fade. …

Should I Invite Him to Meet My Parents?

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HOLIDAY ADVICE “What are you doing for the holidays?” can be a loaded question in a new relationship. Should you spend it together? Should you be upset if you don’t? How soon is too soon to introduce him to your family? First, you should evaluate your relationship. Are you serious …