Told to Stop Yelling When You Didn’t Feel You Were?

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Have you been told, “Stop yelling at me,” when you didn’t feel like you were yelling? You may have even replied, “I’m not yelling, trust me, you’ll know when I am yelling.” However, what you need to hear is that you don’t have to raise your voice to be yelling …

Pay Attention to Clues of Bad Behavior (Red Flags)

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After a breakup I always ask my clients if they know what went wrong. Just about all of them can point to at least one thing that happened that foreshadowed their breakup, they just didn’t pay attention to it at the time. You can save yourself a lot of heartache and also time if …

The First 3 to 6 Months of a Relationship

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The first six months of a relationship are the honeymoon phase. However, most relationships never last past three to six months. You have to protect your heart so you don’t get blindsided. Many people are desperately looking for “the one”.  They hopefully go on date after date, trying not to …

“I’ve Never Felt This Way Before” Can Be a Huge Red Flag

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Love is hard to find, so when you hear, “I’ve never felt this way before” you may think you’ve finally found “the one”. But have you? Be careful — it may mean you’re heading for disappointing heartbreak. If you’ve dated a lot but have never truly fallen in love before you have …

Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable

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I know that it can be incredibly scary to feel vulnerable. However, if you want a long-lasting relationship you need to be able to express your inner thoughts and feelings to your partner, and be able to listen to his/her wants and needs. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” If the worst …

Why You Should Date Someone Who is Divorced

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A lot of single people search for someone who’s “never been married”. I certainly do understand the romantic notion that you could be each other’s first marriage. However, as you get older it’s harder and harder to find people who have never taken vows; and you undoubtedly find many people …

Confidence is Different Than Self-Esteem

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Many highly successful people have tremendous confidence but low self-esteem. Do you know the difference? Self-esteem and self-confidence frequently get mistaken for one another, but they are two separate things. Self-confidence is the belief in one’s ability to do something, such as managing a business, speaking in public, playing sports, or even …

Be Careful With Other’s Feelings

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Being negligent or insensitive with a lover’s feelings or worse intentionally hurting them is mean, and can cause you a lot of unnecessary grief. Being on the receiving end of uncaring actions is typically what leads a jilted lover to obsessive and even stalking behaviors. So protect yourself from future …

Are You The Rebound?

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You always hear that you’re not supposed to talk about past relationships when you first start dating someone new. However, the one exception to that rule is to find out whether he/she is truly available for a new relationship or if you’re just the rebound. Ask permission to ask by saying, “Can I ask …

Do Opposites Attract or Is Commonality Better?

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You frequently hear that opposites attract but then also hear that like attracts like. Which is better? If you’re a follower of my blog then you know that I believe commonality is crucial to making a relationship last long-term. You need to have common ethics, values, and goals — similar …

Insecurity Is All In Your Head

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Everyone is insecure on some level. We can feel unwanted, unloved, unappreciated, inadequate, undeserving, neglected, and so on. Fear is mostly to blame. We fear abandonment, betrayal, intimacy, commitment, etc.  But all of our fears and insecurities are created by our thoughts. Which makes it all in our heads. Our thoughts …

Don’t Get Married Younger Than 25

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Falling in love is exciting. When you think you’ve found “the one” its fun to fantasize about walking down the aisle together. Nonetheless, if you haven’t celebrated your twenty-fifth birthday yet you should not actually plan the wedding — or worse, go through with getting married. Recent research has found that the Brain’s …

5 Examples of Inappropriate Boundaries

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Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t give you permission to be part of everything in their life. Time apart from each other is actually necessary to keep you both happy, and snooping is never helpful. So how appropriate are your boundaries? Part of having healthy boundaries is accepting your partner’s boundaries …

10 Texting Rules to Help Your Relationship

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I’m not a fan of rules for relationships but texting is one of the worst ways to communicate with a lover. It’s lazy and vague. The true meaning is left up to the reader’s interpretation. As a relationship coach, I have spent far too much time trying to calm down a …

Don’t Reject When Feeling Rejected

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It’s a defense mechanism to reject someone you feel rejected by. But if you’re feeling rejected by the person you’re in a relationship with you need to resist that instinct and communicate how you’re feeling. You need to find out what you don’t know. We tend to take everything personally when …