Stop making excuses for your lover. People do what they want to do. If you always remind yourself of that, it really is quite simple.
As caring beings, we usually like to give people the benefit of the doubt. We frequently conjure up pleasant scenarios to explain away undesirable behavior: “he’s really busy at work,” “she’s exhausted,” “he’s got a lot on his mind,” “she’s not ready”— you know what I’m talking about. These are rationalizations our friends help us come up with so we can feel okay about putting up with bad behavior.
Regardless of how busy, tired, or distracted anyone is, people do what they want to do. You do what you want to do, right?
Actions speak louder than words. Relationships are supposed to be easy in the beginning. That’s when you’re supposed to just be happy and enjoy each other. If that’s not what you’re experiencing, it’s junk-food. Trust your instincts. Your gut will usually know when something isn’t right—don’t make excuses to try to reason it away.
People do what they want to do, but players will say whatever they think will get them what they want. Listen to their actions, not their words. Don’t make excuses for bad behavior.
If you need more help recognizing what you’re doing wrong or finding who could be right for you I offer personal coaching. You’ll also find more help in my book: Giving Up Junk-Food Relationships: Recipes for Healthy Choices