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Your relationship with yourself is the only relationship you have complete control of. Take action to unpack your baggage, raise your self-esteem, and set SMART goals; so you can feel empowered and truly love yourself. Like attracts like, as you get healthier you'll be attracted to a healthier person...and healthier people will be very attracted to you.
Decide EXACTLY what you want and need in a relationship, identify your past patterns, your personal deal-breakers, and create personal boundaries to aid you in choosing a great partner, then turning it into a healthy, lasting relationship.
Everyone has issues, it's a matter of managing your own and picking a person whose issues don't clash with yours.
Everyone is insecure on some level and anxiety frequently gets in the way of a great initial connection. You need to stay grounded and think clearly when you're feeling rejected, confused, angry, or emotional.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. Take action to self-evaluate and decide you want better for yourself.
I'm such a better person because of you Donna Barnes.
Palm Beach, Florida
I always want my clients to feel heard, and cared about. So coaching with me is all about you: figuring out what is going on with you, what would be best for you, and how you can achieve it. I'm very flexible with my hours. I'm told I'm easy to talk to, and coaching with me frequently takes on a big sister or mentor type feeling. I’ll even share my personal experiences with you when I think it will give you more clarity, or help you feel validated, or normal. I've been through a lot these past 50+ years — good, bad, and ugly; you might as well benefit from my mistakes, successes, and tragedies, (in addition to my education). My coaching is 100% confidential, unbiased, and nonjudgmental.
Whether you’re gay, straight, male, female, unidentified, young, or old, anywhere in the world — if you're stuck and not sure what to do, I’ll help you make good choices to move forward and be happier. I may be available right now, even at night and on weekends.
The only time I feel better is when I'm talking to you!
Hoboken, New Jersey
I have a lot of compassion for people. I've actually walked in many of your shoes. I fully understand feeling broken, and my intention is to help as many people as I can feel whole. I have studied psychology, and I'm NYU certified, however, I can promise you there has been no better teacher than my personal experiences.
You see, I suddenly lost my Mom as a teenager, when we'd had a difficult, complicated relationship. So I escaped to New York City with a modeling agency, in the 80s when Manhattan was a pretty wild place; studied acting, and human behavior, moved to Los Angeles for 6 years in the 90s, when "Me Too" was accepted as the casting couch. I was primarily selfish and broke a lot of hearts, until I had my heart ripped out at age 30, before "ghosting" was even a term and there was no internet to search for answers.
I realized that if I was ever going to have a healthy relationship I needed to know what that was. I had been in some toxic relationships, but I didn't know that at the time. effectively help you through this breakup because of the dozens of devastating breakups I personally caused and suffered through over those three decades — knowledge was the only thing that made me feel better so each and every painful experience further enriched my ability to help you. I’ve tried everything and I can tell you first hand what does and doesn’t work. As my long-term clients can tell you, the 100’s of people I have now coached since 2007, has made me even better.
By 2001, I had gotten so good at dating I was asked to be in a reality show called, "The Real Sex & the City". That lead to co-hosting a talk show about sex & relationships and by the end of that decade I was writing my first magazine column, had been through NYU and was now coaching others how to have better relationships. I published my book, Giving Up Junk-Food Relationships, and became the relationship expert for Good Morning America.
You're very easy to talk to and enthusiastic about what you teach.
New York, New York
"I was very confused before our conversation but now my situation is much more clear thanks to you! I can't wait to put all your advice into practice. I will reach out to you again should I need your advice in the future."
"I got engaged two weeks ago. Thanks for all your excellent insight over the years."
"I reached out to Donna and after just a first phone call felt deeply understood, which meant everything at that moment."
"I really want to thank you for all your help and support, and answering my emails and meeting me at random times etc. I realize I was able to achieve more with you in only 13 hours than I was able to achieve with all the other coaches I had worked with in 40+ combined hours of coaching."
"I wish I would of come across your advice earlier. I bet half the population are making these mistakes but don't know it."
"During 2017, I met and fell deeply in love with the man of my dreams. Not only was he extremely handsome, but he was also caring, compassionate, and an amazing friend. I couldn't have been happier. However, after four months, the relationship suddenly drifted and I sensed an unforeseen break-up headed my way.
Wanting to save the relationship, and thinking its demise was entirely my fault, I engaged Donna Barnes for guidance and support. Donna was absolutely amazing - she took the time to coach me about the status of the relationship, why certain events were happening, my emotions, and how to regain my strength when the relationship finally ended.
I found Donna's insight, feedback, and advice to be spot-on. I have since healed and I am now ready to date again, something I never thought possible several months earlier.
Donna's coaching was very valuable to me and I now consider her a close and great friend."
"Although my experience with a psychiatrist and other counselor were helpful, neither of them were able to show me which options truly existed, and how to make the right decisions. Donna always had the right advice, and as we all know, during a breakup we sometimes can't seem to keep it together. Donna made sure I didn't fall apart, she was available when I needed her which is priceless during a breakup (unlike the other counselors), and kept me moving in a positive, healthy, and happy direction."
"Donna is an excellent person and personal coach! She made herself available for me Just a few minutes after booking my emergency coaching! I suffer from anxiety and as soon as my ex reached out I went into panic mode. Donna was there for me within minutes and I felt instant relief!! Not only did she listen but she knew exactly what to say and do to get the results I needed! Thanks to her not only did I get my ex to chase me and regret the breakup but also helped me realize my worth! Piece of mind is priceless! I’m so happy I found you! Thank you Donna!! YOU ROCK!!
Some frequently asked questions about my coaching services.
I immediately get an email and I will reply to set up our call or meeting. If you added my online course you'll immediately get an email with your login credentials.
I'm frequently available right away or within the first few hours. I will do my best to be available for you within 24 hours. Even on weekends. Coaching is my full-time job.
I do highly recommend it. I have spent more than 200 hours putting together my best coaching program. It can give you much more help than I can in just a few coaching calls.
I can help you navigate through a particular situation. Change is a process. The extra hours give you a discount for extra support to change your relationship status. Sessions can be used as you feel fit you best. Want several sessions a week? Want to spread them out to schedule as things come up? Need two hours? Only want 30 minutes? No problem, I’ll keep a spreadsheet of the time we use and let you know when you’re near the end of your hours.
My website securely uses Stripe.
But you can also Venmo me at
@Donna-Barnes-NY or via PayPal at paypal.me/thedonnabarnes
After our initial 90-minute consultation you can book future individual virtual calls for $195 per hour using Venmo or the PayPal link above.
Yes, I am fully vaccinated. We can meet at a quiet restaurant or café, outside if you prefer, in New York or Philadelphia or any of the surrounding areas. I do have a car and can meet you anywhere nearby that's convenient for you.
My favorite expression is NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES. I will help you improve your primary relationship, the one with
yourself, which is the only relationship you can control. I'll guide you through the 3 Steps of my Action Plan to help you become the best version of yourself.
Step1: Fixing Me, Step 2: Choosing a Partner Wisely, Step 3: Make it Last!
I talk to you just as I talk to my personal clients. I share case examples and personal stories to give you experiential insight. I am always compassionate, but there is some tough love to help you recognize the truth about what you need to change to be your best you..
Step-By-Step Actions to take to look at your issues, feel empowered, and become the best version of yourself, to attract and keep the right person for you. Includes healthy boundaries, looking at your baggage, closure, moving on, and a lot more.
I offer a 50% discount on a personal coaching call with me when you sign up for the Action Plan.
Get personal support from Donna, and communicate with other members who are likewise working to become the best version of themselves. You can make some new friends or maybe even make a love connection.
There are fun quizzes about communication, emotional intimacy, and your choices about sex; checklists to identify missing boundaries and abandonment issues, and toxic behavior in others to avoid such as narcissistic or an addict.
Action worksheets to identify your true self, to raise your self-esteem, to take responsibility for what you do right and wrong in your relationships, to change your patterns, to set ACTION Goals, and lots more.
Only 50 spots available
Are you waiting for someone to change back into the person you fell in love with? Do you fear you won't find anyone better for you if you leave or let go? Are you confused about what went wrong? Donna's book bottom lines how to make your relationships healthy, and more importantly how to tell when things have gone bad.