Have you been told, “Stop yelling at me,” when you didn’t feel like you were yelling? You may have even replied, “I’m not yelling, trust me, you’ll know when I am yelling.” However, what you need to hear is that you don’t have to raise your voice to be yelling — your tone of voice can sound angry.
If you have been told you were yelling more than once than you need to be honest with yourself that you have some anger issues. You will have much better relationships when you can cool your temper.
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It’s very uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of a nasty or forceful tone. You will be much more lovable when you can allow yourself to be vulnerable, to stay calm while expressing your wants and needs, and listen to what your partner has to say. Vulnerability is an absolute necessity to a healthy relationship.
In all interactions you have with other people start being aware of your tone. Is it friendly? Is it inspiring people to want to help you? You are much more likely to get what you want if you ask nicely. As my father used to tell me, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
So ask yourself, “Do I want to sound angry? Or do I want to get my needs met?” If it’s the later then make sure your tone isn’t offensive.