I believe a person’s happiness level dictates his or her degree of patience and compassion. Think about it. When you’re content and life is going well for you, aren’t you much more tolerant than when things aren’t going exactly as you hoped? If your order takes a little too long, you have to wait in line, or someone bumps into you, it’s no big deal, because you have pleasant thoughts running through your head. But how do you respond when you’re not entirely happy? Are you easily irritated by another’s slowness or mistake? Do you perhaps make nasty comments? Do simple tasks frustrate you? If you find yourself nodding in response to these questions and you’re feeling a bit cantankerous and inpatient, that’s probably an indicator that you’re not entirely happy. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not happy, you’re probably consuming junk-food—or you are junk-food.
As human beings, we are made up of cells, and our cells produce energy. Some quantum physicists believe our cells are energy. Nonetheless, our energy is powerful. It radiates. When a happy, charismatic being enters a room, others take notice—they’re drawn to that person. That’s because energy is contagious. It makes others feel happy too.
But it’s not just positive energy that’s transmittable. Negative energy is highly infectious. If you’re distracted by chemistry and attraction, it’s not always easy at first to realize you’re being changed. It’s usually easier for the people around us to see when someone’s not good for us than it is for us to admit it to ourselves. Are you holding on to the fantasy that all the good things that happened in the beginning truly define who your significant other is? Are you hoping he’ll change and go back to being the ideal partner you initially saw him to be?
Well, people don’t change unless they want to. Most people don’t want to. Change is hard. Yet many of us exert too much of our precious time and energy trying to change a lover who doesn’t want to change. Try focusing all that enthusiasm on fixing yourself!
If you need more help recognizing what you’re doing wrong or finding who could be right for you I offer personal coaching. You’ll also find more help in my book: Giving Up Junk-Food Relationships: Recipes for Healthy Choices