I’m not a fan of rules for relationships but texting is one of the worst ways to communicate with a lover. It’s lazy and vague. The true meaning is left up to the reader’s interpretation. As a relationship coach, I have spent far too much time trying to calm down a client after receiving a text they read into incorrectly; or trying to save a relationship after sending insecure or needy texts sabotaged it.
Communication is one-third of what makes a relationship last. Love and commonality are the others. Don’t leave yourself open to misunderstanding by using a text to nurture your relationship.
10 Rules for Texting
- Never text anything you wouldn’t say to his or her face.
- Never text anything that you should say to his or her face.
- Never text emotions or how you are feeling.
- Never text while angry, drunk, overly emotional, or cognitively impaired in any way.
- Never fight via text.
- Limit text to one or two text fields. Don’t tell stories via text.
- Don’t interview or ask complicated questions via text. Especially if you met online, text to ask to speak so you can decide if you want to meet in person.
- Not every text requires a response. Less is more when you’re just getting to know someone. No small talk is necessary.
- Don’t expect an immediate response. Wait 24 hours before texting again if someone doesn’t reply. Never scold them.
- Don’t send group texts to people who don’t know each other. If you want to send out information to a group start with “FOR YOUR INFO ONLY DO NOT REPLY TO THIS TEXT”. Or copy and paste your message into individual texts if you want a reply.
Texting is only meant for conveying short bits of information or for making plans. Texting is not an effective form of expression. Good communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship; make sure you’re smart about how you interconnect.